K-Bar-B Youth Ranch- The experiences of one who lived through it.

It is no secret that the Louisiana regulations for foster care are a flat out joke, the children within the foster care system here are treated as if they have no rights. It is not like this everyplace, I know when I was in California, though I did butt heads with a few higher ups in their foster care system, I was at least treated as human. In Louisiana, I was treated like an object because, to them, I was a child without rights despite the fact my IQ and reasoning skills were beyond most of the foster care workers I had encountered.

I am an adult now, will be 23 soon, I was last in foster care in Louisiana, specifically K-Bar-B Youth Ranch, which is a group home, when I was 16 years of age. I have remained in silence, hoping they would change the place for the better, hoping they would realize that the way they allowed some staff to treat the children there was immoral and in some cases abusive. I am barred from even seeing the premises, because I did not finish their little program which is, in all truth, a demoralizing joke against the residents there.

K-Bar-B is located in Lacombe, LA, very near to Slidell. I shall begin by first pointing out their practices, then the state which their facilities were in when I was there, then the abusive actions of some staff at the facility alone with how a blind eye was turned. This is not being typed out to ruin a reputation, no, I lived through this, I escaped it, what you will be reading in this post are true accounts of what I personally witnessed while within this group home. They silenced and tried to disregard my words when I was a teenager, but now I will not be silenced. Since this post is speaking the truth of what I encountered, it is protected by the first amendment of the United States Constitution. Though considering their history of not caring about what the constitution said when I was in that group home, I don’t expect that fact to stop them from trying to sic their law dogs on me, but let them try, they didn’t break my will when I was there, they will not break it now.

First off, unsavory practices I witnessed. The first thing that sticks out in my mind is once went I was on the phone, someone who was on my approved contact list, approved by Louisiana State OCS for me to speak to, they asked me how things were at K-Bar-B, I spoke the truth, that it wasn’t as nice as they made it out to be during my visit the first time and that we got near no privacy and were treated as if we were all delinquents when some where there due to abuse, not our own doing. The staff, who always stood right there when we were on the phone, hung up the phone via pushing down the receiver, disconnecting the call. They didn’t want me to say what was really going on, they wanted me to act like everything was perfect there, in other words they expected me to lie, it is a prime example of them cutting off my voice while there.

There is also the instance when I went to one of the hearing dates when I was trying to return to my father’s, yes, my father was highly abusive but I would have rather fend him off then continue to live as if I had no voice against this ‘respected group home’ who more less tried to discredit me at every turn because they didn’t want the truth to be known by the masses. Anyways, one of the staff was in the hearing room and the moment I mentioned the mistreatment of K-Bar-B Youth Ranch, as well as their infringement on base human rights, their poor diet they fed the residents there, the staff who came along jumped right in to try and discredit me. Due to being in front of a judge she could not at the time threaten me with ‘restriction’ (which is basically being stuck in your room like you’re being held in solitary confinement and even requiring you to ask to go to the restroom, they issued this for the smallest of infractions to their rules.) so her hands were pretty tied in that aspect, any frowned upon actins she would have taken would have been seen by the judge so she tried to discredit me. After the hearing I got berated and put on restriction for speaking the truth they wanted no one to know.

That’s not even to mention how they kept using any funds they got to fix up their front offices while the cabins we were kept in remained poorly kept and decrepit. That does bring me to my next point, the state in which the facilities were in. The residents of K-Bar-B Youth Ranch were kept in rooms in these old cabins, many of which had severe plumbing issues, I remember a few times having to take a plunger to the sink in the kitchen as well as seeing a few other residents doing the same because they would back up so horridly, just thinking of it makes me fight off a gag. The water quality of the place was a nightmare, the water held a faint yellow tint and smelled of sulfur, yet as many times as this was brought up, it was ignored. I can understand the small bits of debris coming from the facets, as disgusting as it is, that is common down here but the sulfuric smell and taste of the water is inexcusable. They may have fixed it by know, I do not know, as I said I am not able to see their premises since I did not finish their little program. It is also worth mentioning that the windows there were not even glass, but Plexiglas, it was thin and had very low impact resistance, something with is very easy to break, both to get out and to get in. They had no locks on the windows, though not as if a lock mattered when one could literally punch through the window pane. They did have a security system in place, motion sensors on the windows, but in truth that was more to keep people from escaping their cabins than to protect the residents within.

There were many places within the cabins that leaked, many of the carpets within had stains from water leaking through, if I recall properly, which I believe I do, the roof of some of the cabins were even known to leak, their solution was not to fix it but to put a bin or something of the like under it to catch the water. The decent staff there (As they did have some decent people on staff, just not many) kept on telling the front office that these things needed to be fixed, the residents kept on telling the front office, but in the two and a half (about) years I was there, I never saw them fix anything. I saw them fix up their front office, which is where their public appearance front came into play, but never the actual cabins. Now they may have fixed these things since my time there, but this is the state this group home was in when I was there five years ago (in 2006) thus this is observations from then. That being said, however, I doubt much has changed, they didn’t seem too keen on fixing things then and, from when I last spoke to the people in the front office up there, well, their attitudes about it seem exactly the same now as they flat out don’t want the way they work to be criticized, even though I have a scar on my right wrist from one of their staff.

That does bring me to my next point, the abusive tendencies of some of their staff when I was there. I do recall one time that still sticks out in my mind and infuriates me to no end, one of their staff, during the evening when all the residents are beginning to settle down for rest, was upset because I was standing in my doorway trying to speak to her in a civil manner, as I did need to use the restroom and she was denying me the right to go to the restroom, that in and of itself is illegal as it is inhuman treatment of a minor. Well, she kept on yelling at me to get back in my room when, I was in my room the whole time, I was in the doorway of my room requesting to be able to take care of a biological necessity. Well because I knew what she was pulling was inhuman treatment, I moved to go to the bathroom anyways, I was not about to be treated like a dog by this staff, she then came at me, her stance and mannerisms threatening and grabbed both my wrists, yelling at me the whole time as she forced me back into the room and pinned me down against the bed. I will be honest, when she did this my self preservation instincts kicked in and I did aim to try to kick out her knee, in hindsight I wish I had managed to break her knee, but at the time self defense was the only think on my mind. While she was yelling at me, over me like I was some object or animal she was scolding, spitting in my face in the process, he nail dug into my right wrist, leaving a scar that is still there today. Now thus far I have avoided using exact names in this entry, but in this case I will state her first name, as she relinquished any rights to remain anonymous by scarring my wrist as she did on top of her blatant disrespect for the other residents there. Her name was Velma, I do not know her last name or I would post it as well.

When those in the front office who ran the group home were told about this, they did nothing, I got on a restriction because of what Velma pulled, so I got punished for a grown woman who should have known better’s actions. Because Velma went on a little power trip and the higher ups in the group home didn’t care about the mistreatment of the residents they were supposed to be protecting the well being of, legally, I took the backlash, that in and off itself is simply a deplorable way to run a group home. There were also many instances where I overheard staff saying that if another resident attacked a resident they didn’t like that they wouldn’t do anything to stop them, so much for a safe environment. I have also witnessed psychological abuse numerous times towards residents, when staff would begin to degrade them unprovoked or as an over-reaction to a simple statement. These staff are adults, they should know better and have the common sense to properly conduct themselves, yes, I understand everyone has bad days, but when it is constant, there’s something wrong. Once again, those who ran the group home turned a blind eye.

Now on to a few other, though less serious, infractions this group home committed unchecked. The food there, every time I ate I felt sick afterwards, it was very low grade, worse than what you would expect to find in a poor school’s cafeteria. That being said the cook for the group home did try, when she actually got decent food that was of a good quality, she tried to give us at least one nice meal once in a while, but she could only work with what K-Bar-B gave her and, more often than not, she only had low grade stuff to work with. Another is requiring religious activities. I am a Pagan, I was when I was within the group home as well, yet I was forced to attend the Christian services when volunteers from churches came to preach at the group home, and I was faced with punishment when I refused to go, that’s yet another infraction of the first amendment. Yes, it was great these religious volunteers came for the kids that were Christian, but there were others who were non-Christian who were forced to attend these things as well. There is separation of church and state for a reason, K-Bar-B breached that.

Now, there are a few misconceptions I wish to clear up, I will do so in this section. First off, I am not trying to call for this group home to be shut down, I want to see it improved to something that can actually take care of the kids in it’s care without the above issues, where kids who are victims of abuse can actually feel safe, be healthy and have a chance at life. Second, being in a group home does not mean a child is a delinquent, I ended up in foster care due to being severely abused by my father, two of the residents in K-Bar-B were there because they had no family, they were up for adoption through no fault of their own. One girl who was there had a very serious mental disorder by she was no trouble maker, in truth she was one of the kindest kids I saw go through that group home. Many are there not due to their actions like most thing, but due to circumstances beyond their control. I ended up in a mental hospital three times while in K-Bar-B, because the state of the group home and how I was treated there had me so depressed I began cutting myself, but after the first time I realized the mental ward treated me better than the group home, so the other two times I went there, I intentionally made them think I needed to be in the mental ward to escape K-Bar-B for a bit, in truth when I finally did break free from the group home, I used the mental ward as a way out, since K-Bar-B would not let me go, I had to manipulate the system, after being in the mental ward for a month K-Bar-B’s policies forced them to relinquish control of me, I used that to my advantage as a way out and it worked. The reason a lot of kids in that group home act out so much is because of how they are being treated, they might be teens but teens are very capable of knowing when their rights are being ignored, and when their voice is shut off by those controlling them, they have to find other ways to call the needed attention, and sadly their options are very limited.

I am not one to talk behind someone’s back, that’s simply not like me, so I will be sending a link to this entry to the K-Bar-B office, considering what they know of my I would not be surprised if they figured out who is behind these words, though their comments will be deleted if they use my real name on this blog’s comments section, I run the blog, and I dislike my name, if they wish to refer to me by my chosen name, fine, but my birth name is off limits. I have refrained from posting the full first and last names of those who run K-Bar-B and, with the exception of one first name, have avoided identifying the staff, even the first name I used is not highly identifying due to the lack of a last name with it. I am not writing this out of spite, but out of concern, I have stood silently for too long. I want to see this issues addressed, I want to see them fixed, I want proof they are fixed, not propaganda like K-Bar-B has been known to rely on in the past. The pictures seen on their website are nothing like what I saw when I was there, they are just a mask, to make it look like all is well. I want to see this fixed, they were one of very few group homes in the area, resources like group homes are needed, but they also need to be run properly.

I recall being told by staff not to mention the bad things to volunteers who came by the group home, that in and of itself shows they were trying to hide the negative and were a mask of positive public relations. Yea, if they know you’re coming, they’ll prepare it all to look just fine, it’s those candid moments, when they don’t see it coming that you see the truth. Them using the same social worker, who is supposed to be the voice of these kids, for all the kids there also is another good way of keeping control on the information, it may look simply convenient, but when that social worker seems to be rather good friends with those running K-Bar-B, it’s not too hard to see how fishy it is. This social worker may no longer be there, as I said, I do not know, but I have no choice but to assume he is until I see proof otherwise.

K-Bar-B’s website can be found with a Google search easy enough, so I will not disclose their contact information, full names of staff, any of that, if you found this blog and want to look deeper into it, I trust you can find their information. This place needs to be whipped into shape, not for the sake of a grudge, nor hostility, but for the sake of the children it takes in, I want to see them properly caring for them, not just shoving more medications down their throat to control them.

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Now, I said I went through all of this, and there is no lie that, there is nothing to gain by lying because, when one lies, sooner or later someone’s going to poke holes in their bubble, just like K-Bar-B’s public appearance and what this blog just did to that façade. I am soon to be 23 and the above has tormented my mind since leaving that place, it had to come out, this is merely an overview, were I to go into full detail of each and every occurrence, then this page would become a novel in and of itself. Those who have power in this aspect, please, see to this being fixed, I am disabled and ill, I only have so much strength to go full bore, but this needs to be seen to, it needs to be fixed and proven that it has been fixed once things are seen to. There should be no reason for a former resident of K-Bar-B to feel they need to make such tales of mistreatment public but due to the mistreatment, it did need to be said. Make sure this blog is the last time someone feels they need to point out such atrocities. I’m already out of the group home, what they do now has no sway on me or my life, but it has sway on the children who are still in their care and there shouldn’t be a single goddamned reason for another former resident to be so compelled to disclose this kind of information. It should not happen with the future generations who are there, there is no reason and no fucking excuse for these things not to be seen to, they’re taking in abused kids and degrading, mistreating and silencing them, breaking what little will these kids may still have. Enough is enough! I never want to hear that another child has been degraded by the staff there, I never, ever want to hear another child is scarred by the hands of their caregivers at K-Bar-B, I never want to hear of another who’s rights are stripped from them by this place, it needs to be fixed, and if I’m the only one with the balls to make this information public, then so be it.

This blog will not be taken down, any attempts by K-Bar-B to do so will be met with unyielding resistance, if needed I’ll even post it to multiple blog sites or a private server, this will not be silenced, not until it has been proven that this issue has been fixed. They tried to control my voice, deny the truth while I was there but they can do so no more. This is not a case of liability, I went through it, I saw it with my own eyes, heard it with my own ears, and I have every right in this country to speak the truth. I will not be silenced by K-Bar-B again, and any attempts at them doing so will also be made public. Ill or not, I will not yield, this needs to be fixed, not for me, not for residents who were there in the past, but for those who are there now and who will end up there in the future. They can try to discredit this posting all they want, but trust me, an argument of logic and facts is not something they want to get into with me, because I have no issues with blatantly pulling apart their lies so the truth can be seen.

I already have a feeling of the different types of methods they may try to use to silence these facts, and I anticipate them, trying to convince me will not work, plan and simple. Trying to discredit me will just get their arguments dismantled even if they try to use my mental illnesses as a method of discrediting me, I will tell you know, I have Bi-Polar and PTSD, neither of which effect my mental capacity, memory or logical ability thus that would be an invalid method of attempting to discredit me. They may try to issue a gag order, but the first amendment protects me from that as what I am speaking of is personal experience and things I saw, felt and heard myself, thus a gag order would be an illogical attempt, same with a cease and desist. They may attempt to push liability, but liability only applies when the things spoken are untrue and meant to run a reputation, the truth cannot fall under liability, besides, the purpose of this entry is not to ruin a reputation, but to make the public aware of very real problems with this group home, ones I wish to see fixed, and I wish for them to prove they have fixed them for the good of any other kids they take in. That’s just a few of the methods I would not put pass them to attempt, though there are others that are a real possibility.

None the less, all I want is for these issues to be fixed, when I spoke with the one who runs K-Bar-B last, she seemed to want to hear nothing of the issues the group home had, she wanted to hear no negative opinions or truths about the group home she handles, only praise. Sorry, but praise doesn’t get things fixed, acknowledging the issues and working to resolve them does.

Anyways, I’m not even going to go through spellchecking and grammar checking this post, it’s already 4 pages long in my word processor. I think I’ve spent enough time typing this thing. But damn, it feels good to finally vent this shit out.